Too Much: the hilarious, heartfelt memoir

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Join Tom Allen, star of stage and screen, as he discusses his hilarious, honest and touching new book Too Much, followed by the chance to ask questions in an audience Q&A. Writing my first book, No Shame, I tried to be as honest and vulnerable as I could. I found that the more you talk about being an outsider or feeling different, you realise everybody’s an outsider in some way. In a world of social media filters, it’s refreshing to strip that away. Honesty seemed to work, so even though it was a seismic change that I went through with losing my dad – and also getting a boyfriend and finally moving out of my parents’ house – I decided to write about it in a similar way. verifyErrors }}{{ message }}{{ /verifyErrors }}{{ With moving honesty and wit, Tom writes beautifully about those days, weeks and months following his family’s loss, and about how bewildering the practicalities of life can be in the wake of an upheaval – those moments, really, when everything can start to feel a bit too much…

The Apprentice: You’re Fired! presenter added that a group of rugby players who were in the audience took him out in the city afterwards and got him “absolutely hammered” to help him get over it. The woman looked out at the rest of the room with her arms folded, then she turned around to face me, looking furious (and said), ‘My son is worth 10 of you’. I decided to ask her why she had done that. (I said), ‘You all right there? I don’t think you’re going to get a very good view if you’re facing the wrong way’. Comedian Tom Allen, 39, grew up in Bromley and trained with the National Youth theatre. He started standup aged 22, winning So You Think You’re Funny and the BBC New Comedy award in the same year. He regularly appears on TV series including The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice, and as a host on The Apprentice: You’re Fired and Cooking With the Stars. He’s currently performing warm-up gigs before going on the road in February with a new standup tour, Completely. His second memoir, Too Much, is published this week.after newsletter promotion The funniest and most memorable chapter recalls Allen’s first trip to a gay sauna

He explained: “The door staff escorted the lady out, and she was furious. I think it was part of the loop that I was in: desperate for positive affirmation but also fixated on negativity. Just watched Saturday Kitchen and I was in hysterics.....had a tear in my eye too. I've never watched a SK episode twice but I will today." An extraordinary portrait of a son navigating his way through grief and loss in real time. Funny, candid, and measured’ GRAHAM NORTONHe added: “Belfast was usually very nice to me, but every time I did a gig there I would end up arriving at the wrong airport — Belfast International. I love talking to the slightly more mature bakers, partly because that’s kind of how I see myself. So I enjoyed Carole and Dawn this year, Maggie last year, Linda and Rowan the year before. The older bakers are always fun. My dad’s funeral had a reassuring sense of ritual, but all high ceremony is camp. I’ve always quite fancied myself as a vicar: I like the outfits, you get a free house, there’s a lot of parading up and down aisles. In a way, church is like Drag Race. When Tom Allen’s first memoir, No Shame, was published in 2020, he was 37, permanently single and living at home with his parents in Bromley. Two years on, circumstances have changed. Allen has a boyfriend and a house of his own, minutes away from the family home, but his dad died suddenly at the end of 2021. Too Much is his attempt to face that loss, come to terms with their imperfect relationship and learn how to be an adult now his much-loved role model is gone. Fans of his arch and cutting comedy might be surprised to find that the book is heartfelt, vulnerable and touchingly sincere.

Tom then started making retching noises while Matt introduced his "celebration of cauliflower" recipe, an ingredient he dislikes.

A group of rugby players were in that night. Very kindly, they took me out afterwards in Belfast. It was so much fun. I’ve always loved the way Alan Bennett finds pathos in the mundane. David Sedaris also allows the incidental to take centre stage. He says: “Think about what you’re most ashamed of, then write about that.” It helped me lean into my own embarrassment. At one point he even questioned the point of the series, saying: "You've been doing this cooking show for a long time and I don't know if anybody cares. However, the host - who is often confronted with troublesome guests on the show - embraced the fun on today's pre-recorded show.

I used to think: I’m going to live in a flat in somewhere trendy like Elephant and Castle, which is essentially just a roundabout, living the urban gay hipster dream. I’ll grow a moustache, it’ll be great. Eventually I realised that isn’t me at all, and found this house around the corner from my parents. Suburbia is where I’ve always felt most comfortable. In the hinterland between countryside and city, you have a bit more space to play. My dad grew vegetables and I thought that would be a healing thing to do. It’s very calming to watch how things grow. When I’m in the garden, everything is all right. I’m amazed I’ve never had a cake in my face! No, they’re lovely people and seem to enjoy me poking fun. I like to think my faux-meanness is a way of taking all the angry voices on social media or in the tabloids, and laughing at their negativity. That wink or raised eyebrow is very ingrained in camp culture; it’s about playing with meanness so it loses its power. A lot of queer people experience the world as quite a harsh place. Laughing at it is an act of subversion that makes it more bearable. There’s great comfort in laughter.With moving honesty and wit, Tom Allen writes beautifully about those days, weeks and months following his family's loss, and about how bewildering the practicalities of life can be in the wake of an upheaval – those moments, really, when everything can start to feel a bit too much... One night, I started my set and I was talking about the experience of being gay and living with my parents. The comedy started just a minute in when Matt introduced Tom, with the stand-up star replying: "It's a real thrill... for you."